The Best of 2010 ;) !

          Everyone is posting the best of 2009. So I am sure everyone is going to know everything anyways. So this is my blog post that I would love to publish on 31^st December 2010 ;).

World :

India has successfully turned all the nuclear guns of Pakistan towards Nepal. (Why Nepal ?.. well.hhmm... who cares ;)) and Pakistan has finally ceased to exist in spite of all the money given by US and is no more officially recognized as a country.

Obama has finally said – ‘Yes we did’ instead of a perpetual ‘Yes we can’. (BTW: shouldn’t new year day be named as Obama day – it’s a day where everyone hopes for the best ahead and who else can show better ‘hope’ than him.)

Copens and Hagens**  have finally shook their hands on the heroic climate deal. Climate is not going to end humanity anymore – war may though ;)

India :

Mumbai police have finally started torturing Kasab publically… and we are loving it ;).

Chandrayaan 2 has successfully planted the first mango tree on the moon and is using the detected H2O to successfully water it. ;)

In a miraculous case of self realization, Raj and MNS have resorted to peaceful satyagraha.

Swine Flu immunization reaches India and perpetually no deaths due to H1N1 in full 2010. J

Sensex closed 45 points higher today at 35,452 pts.

Gossip :

Rakhi Sawnt’s sequel reality show – ‘Rakhi ka Honeymoon’ has gone on to become the most popular reality show in the world.

Woah ! Saif was bi and had Shahid tattooed on his lower back !

We have finally found 100 waitresses who have not slept with Woods ;).

Entertainment :

AR Rehman gets Oscar for 2^nd year in a row.

Aamir Khan had delivered a mind blower that makes 3 idiots look mediocre (now that would be something ;)).

Business/Technology :

Tata has obliged to the PM’s request to reduce emissions and has launched – Tata Pico – worlds cheapest bike for Rs 1k.

Google has successfully launched Google Life – It is an application that is going to scan through all the data on your laptop, your personal diaries, bank accounts, photos, video chats with your girlfriend, your search queries, the songs that you sing while bathing and pass it through the google black box to give out relevant Ads of what you should buy in order to lead a better life.

Facebook’s population that exceeded that of Chinas.

Windows 7 consistently sucks less than Vista.

Completely ‘working’ GPS active in the whole of India.

Sports :

Commonwealth Games 2010 were the best commonwealth Games hosted – ever. J(well atleast grant me a wish to be able to publish – Woah – nothing actually went wrong in the Commonwealth Games 2010 in Delhi ;) )

Sachin Completes 21 years and sets the record for the highest number of records anyone has broken and set in any sport.

India retains No. 1 in Tests and also in ODI’s.

Cheers !

Rahul

31 dec 2010. ;)

Also – check out this cool site to be used for the new year – http://www.futureme.org/. It lets you email to a future you ;). May seem a bit silly, but actually pretty cool to email a 30 or 40 year old you asking – hey man –  did you finally get the Ferrari ;).

Oh and ya – feel free to list down something that you feel would be great to have in news on 31^st dec 2010. HAPPY NEW YEAR ;) !

[**- Click here if the Copen and Hagen point confused you a bit ;).]

When Copen met Hagen !! ;)

         This is a story about 2 brothers – Copen and Hagen. Copen is 21 and thus has a relatively ‘developed’ persona and Hagen is 15, but smart and ‘developing’ fast.


One morning, Copen and Hagen decide to go a cafe and have a chat-

Copen : Hey Hagen, how many times have I told you to stop smoking. You are too young to do that.

Hagen : Oh yeah !! but you started when you were just 12 !

Copen : And that was a mistake. And I don’t want you to repeat the same mistakes that I made.

Hagen : Aah ha ! Well I don’t listen to people who make mistakes.

Copen : Listen, I am elder to you and thus smarter and more self dependent. So I have the right to advice you.

Hagen : oh really, then why don’t you give me some more money to buy a ‘hukkah’ ! It would be less injurious you know.

Copen : Buy one?? why don’t you make one just like I have done.

Hagen : Haah, then atleast teach me how to make it or share the technology how I am supposed to make it.

Copen : Oh I will, but you have to promise you will smoke less.

Hagen : Oh yeah ! And what happened to the promise you made to mom (Mrs kyoto) few years back ?

Copen : That was an old thing. Besides, this is between you and me. Don’t get mom in between. Forget about that thing. Besides it not my fault that she didn’t make you promise that time. Who knew you were going to grow up so fast !

Hagen : Forget Mom !! You can default on your promise to her and you want me to make a promise to you !! I am walking out !!!

And thus Copen and Hagen fought happily ever after.

           Climate thus remains limited to some lame essay talk given by some 13 year old that gets shared a million times and tones of people, who I hope, know what they are protesting for.

                 Australia is coming out to be a champion amongst the copens as they are giving in their best shot at scraping their promise to mom Kyoto and Africa is being termed as the champion amongst the Hagens as they are willing to stand tall and refuse to be dominated. Well, Ironic to a summit that should have champions termed on the basis of the vision and valor shown by a nation towards taking initiative for fixing the environment. Copens are worried that it will hamper their capitalist economies – well apparently you taught the world that capitalism is powerful and flexible – isn’t it powerful and flexible enough to accommodate the environment ???

               We have reached such a point that even if some minister from some country comes up with some innovative way and decides to lead by an example, the pride and political ego of his nation will be so badly hurt, that implementing something would anyways be just a dream for him. Handling the protestors will be on agenda for a few months then. The opposition in that country would be celebrating though.;)

Pretty funny we all cannot agree on the underlining necessities for our own survival ! ;)

When Dubai Thanked the World !!

       All I have been to Dubai is the Dubai Airport. Its amazing. It glitters and in no time you just forget that you are on an airport and if you are a girl- you also start shopping in no time. Its truly a dream welcome to the ‘land of dreams’, or at least what it was considered until a few days back, just until the Dubai said a big Thank You to all its money lenders on the eve of thanksgiving - thanking them graciously for all the money and also for hopefully understanding that - well- we dont have any to give you back ! I think we would have to rate it as the biggest Thank You of this year ;).


               As all the people are wondering why the Big Thank You came, millions of others are left furious, some for losing millions and some not having made millions to lose them. Its being predicted that some 20000 migrants from India who had been coaxed by agents with the beautiful ‘Living the Dream’ dream, are coming back home this month – or rather are being kicked out of the emirates this month. Its like if you have no work out there, you have some 30 days to get your ass out of the country, or city or emirate or whatever ;). So all these people are going to come back to mommy after having ‘lived their dreams’ and going to be greeted by money lenders to pay back the money they had borrowed to pay the agents. Wonder if they can say the Thank You as well – too bad we don’t have the thanksgiving in India – Imagine how many people would be thanking each other ;)

             I did read in some places, “why don’t they pay themselves with all the oil they have.” How can they ??, they don’t have any oil. All the oil is with Abu Dhabi. They can surely bail out Dubai World, but I guess they have been reading Paul Krugman lately and getting smarter. Hopefully at least someone is coming to know that bail outs are for socially productive companies backed by the government- may be something like a national post and not for companies riding in borrowed Ferraris and building artificial islands that no one has the money to go and stay in – well at least right now.

             Some $600bn projects have come to a standstill in Dubai. Bankers, lawyers, architects and not to mention - laborers –have been axed, in some cases, by SMS- and I was thinking they do this only in China ;). People are selling cars to cover up for their loans, as in Dubai, if you default on loan payment or if your cheque bounces, you go to Jail. Dubai World or Nakheel would have to say another thank you now that the same rule does not stand with their lenders too ;)

         And then as usual, we have all the criticism from the west about future trust issues and all that – Veteran Bollywood over-Actor Rajkumar(Acting as Dubai World this time) has a message for all of you
:(Chinay Seth = money lending banks;) )


Hehe ;) You started it buggers. Now don’t point at others. I am sorta glad that the Sheikhs of Abu Dhabi have turned their backs, why should their people suffer for it, might as well make the brit banks absorb the hiccups ;). After all, they are the ones who had all the money, tones and tones of money to build islands, but none to get some sane advice.

            Shashi Tharoor in his lecture at TED India this week spoke about the ‘Soft Power’ of any country. The power that a country develops as a result of its government, technology, culture, policies and most importantly, its people. The power that attracts the world to that country. Dubai attracted millions with one common philosophy – ‘All that glitters is going to be Gold’ and one prime human tendency – ‘Greed’ and one common globally accepted apparently faulty solution to it – ‘Credit’ ;)