Damn you Language !!

      Looong flights from India to Dubai to Brisbane and then to Townsville. Was sitting in between a fat farty old genleman from New Zeleand and a pretty lovely french hottie(LFH from here on). As you must have guessed, this is obviously about the latter one. And simply because such thing never happens to me, I must have been to atleast 500 movies by now, but not once has a girl(or atleast something that can be called a girl) has sat next to me. So we sat down and
Me : So heading to Brisbane ? (As if she is going to jump off mid flight into the Indian Ocean from a non stop flight to Brisbane)
LFH: a.... ah.. ha!
Me: ! .. ok.. so vacation  ?
LFH: A. hh.. ye... arrrrrr.. ah.. nno...
Me: Can I borrow that book for a while ? (LFH had this tour book about australia and since I had changed my plans last minute and was going to go to brisbane and not melbourne. So this was genuine and not just something to add on to the conversation as most of you feel)
LFH: (No response - just staring at my nose)
Me: You fine !! ??
LFH: Aahh..book.
Me: Ya. .
LFH: (Nodding).. I no englisss...  spi.. arrahh.. (signaling some weird things and pointing towards her throat..)..
Me : (Spit !!).. !
LFH: Speak.. French ?
This was the point that my entire academic career came crumbling down in front of my eyes. I wondered why i hadnt taken a french course instead of engineering. Any ways i just freaked out those 4 years, one 4 week french course would have saved me from this terrible communication crisis at 31000 feet.
Me : well no ! :-(
LFH:(Still handed over the book).. aha..
Me: Thanks .. and yeah - it was in French !
Still i chose to just stare at the maps now that she had handed that over to me.
LFH: So you.. (again making that weird throat signaling).. French ?
Cant you see I am staring at this book as Mayawti would stare at some draught economic project report drawn by Chidambaram
Me: hhmm. Naah !
LFH: uh.. ah.. m.. me .. working job vacation !
Me: (Wow.. 3 english words at a go.. great going !! but more happy because she initiated this time) aha.. me business and studies..
LFH: (Smiles)
Lunch arrived and she could hardly tell the air hostess what she wanted. I realize how she much be feeling. Its the sorta feeling that you get even when you go to some other state within India itself. I sometimes get it in Hyderabad and definitely got it in chennai. Not knowing local dialect does alienate people so fast ! May be thats why its possible for any american to move to any part of USA easily- because he knows that his primary source of communication is going to be understood. Imagine if we had just one language- moving across states would have been so much more easier - Imagine landing in chennai and not having to struggle to tell the rikshawwala where you have to go and strike a conversation as well. Shopkeepers, offices and everyone understands one national language and prefers it. Wow ! The country's unity and productivity would have been so much higher. Well .. may be.

            Oh coming back, LFG and me did make some more futile attempts to communicate at times when we were bored of wtching movies, tv seerials, songs and playing games on that small screen which is your whole and sole to distract your attention from sore knees caused by non aisle seats in economy class -  And I kept wondering why God couldnt send us down here pre programmed in a single language.